Freshman
by HypatiaGrey
Summary: Stan, Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny are older now and entering into the melodramatic world of high school. They're experiencing puberty, drama, break ups, changes, and everything else that comes with age. As if raging hormones aren't enough to deal with, the boys will have to handle other weird shit that the obscure little town of South Park has to offer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Welcome all to my very first South Park FanFic! In this chapter I'll be focusing on where all four boys are in their lives. I also touch on Butters. They're all 14 and entering into high school, so naturally they're a bit nervous. Hope you enjoy. Reviews welcome! I promise a chapter per week. I do not own South park.**

Morning dew clung to the boys' skin the moment they walked outside. It was a very big day for the four of them. It was the beginning of their freshman year of high school and none of them knew what to expect aside from what they'd seen on television. They'd spent the whole summer enjoying their final moments of childhood as they worded it. Cartman even packed away Clyde Frog in preparation for the boys' transition into teenhood. Every one of them would make their way along the sidewalk towards the bus stop in due time.

Kyle glanced back at his house a little bit more than necessary. His overbearing mother was waving frantically at him behind the window. Just the night before he sat through an insufferable lecture about the dangers of drugs, sex, and gangs. The sex discussion in particular was enough for him to pale over in embarrassment. It mortified him to have to assure his mother that he wasn't even focused on girls and that his studies were more important to him. Now that he was finally breaking away from the nest and heading towards a whole new place, he felt helpless. _What if they think my hair is weird? Or that I'm too thin? _Kyle wondered to himself with a shiver running up his spine. The red-headed Jewish boy hadn't changed much over the years. The only notable difference about him was his height. He was taller than the other three but it wasn't by much. Clyde hit puberty faster than all of them. He even had facial hair. Other than height, there wasn't much he was proud of in regards to appearance. A mess of fire red curls laid like a mop on his head which he tried too many times to tame. His last resort was his hat which he was tremendously relieved to have. He heard horror stories from Stan about high school which didn't help his confidence at all. With a dreadful sigh, he mentally assured himself that his personality would shine through and carried on down the sidewalk to meet his friends.

Meanwhile, Cartman snatched a bag of cookies from his pantry before heading out. His mom called out the door after him saying, "Oh, good bye poopsykins! Have a wonderful day! I love you!"

"Thanks mom." He muttered dryly between slow chews.

Cartman wasn't as particularly nervous about the upcoming day as the other three were. He was more focused on how he would carry out his scheme to embarrass Kyle on his first day. The _big boned_ teen appeared nonchalant on the surface, but a plot was brewing in his vindictive little mind. He wouldn't forget how Kyle, just weeks before, told on him for taking a dump in Butter's Spaghetti-o's.

"Stupid asshole." He whispered under his breath.

He made his way sluggishly towards the bus stop and dreaded seeing Kyle entirely. Along the years his contempt for the Jew grew stronger but surprisingly his friendship with Kenny had improved exceptionally. He still ripped on him for being poor but hung out with him more often than the other two. Cartman stopped wearing his old hat during 8th grade when kids started making fun of him for looking like a tit. The frame of his body had widened and in contrast to the ball on his hat, word spread around that he looked like a _walking titty_. Girls would giggle at him and when they did he'd yell out something like, _"Fuck you Wendy, fuck you Annie, you guys are just jealous that you're all flat chested bitches!" _He didn't appreciate the comments and tried his best to track down who started the rumors, but gave up and assumed it was Kyle. During the summer he was motivated to work out to prove everyone wrong, but gave up after a few weeks because he saw a KFC commercial. So he remained the same, if not gained a little more weight, but grew taller so he looked less fat than he did the year before. He wore a bright red hoody with regular blue jeans and black boots. In Eric's mind; he was big boned, extremely good looking, and everyone was jealous of him. He continued munching cookies while pondering about how he would get revenge on Kyle.

Kenny McCormick flinched at the sound of loud banging coming from the room behind his wall and immediately sat up in bed. "Kinny, gitup or you'll be late fer school!" His mom exclaimed in her scratchy voice which had gotten progressively deeper. She sounded like a woman who had smoked for too many years, which is exactly what she was. "God damnit." He said in a high pitched voice. It had gotten deeper, but it was still noticably light. He was taller and average in frame, but none of that mattered to him. He was just happy that he was more hung than his friends. That's what was really important. Kenny changed into jeans, sneakers, an orange hoody, and a brown scarf which wrapped snugly around his neck and mouth. As if he was journeying through a foot of water, he sludged through piles of bottles and beer cans that littered his main room. And that wasn't even the worst part. He grabbed the broom and simply swept the garbage to the sides to make a path to the kitchen. There really wasn't much after all these years in regards to food. His family survived solely on food stamps and mooching. Despite Kenny being accustomed to his lifestyle, he had also grown used to _luxury_ at his friends' houses. It prompted him to work, to strive for what he was never born with. He had already decided the summer before freshman year that he would try to get a job, although that was difficult given his parent's infamous criminal background. Everyone knew he was poor and they all predicted he would turn out just like his parents. He was determined to prove to himself that he wouldn't. He wouldn't drink, do drugs, or live a jobless life if he could help it. With a strawberry poptart in hand, he headed out to meet his friends at the bus stop.

Stan stifled a yawn while eating his cereal and couldn't seem to let go of the overwhelming jitters he was experiencing. His stomach churned so he barely ate. Butterflies filled up his stomach completely. Shelly had gotten to him a little but he was certain that wasn't why he was mentally breaking down. She warned him that if he even glanced at her, she would order her friends to throw rocks at Stan and his friends. Measly rocks didn't frighten him as much as it did his best friend Kyle though. Neither did the fights or drama that Shelly warned him about. What he primarily didn't look forward to was seeing his ex girlfriend for the first time since the break up.

It was during the bitter hours of night the winter before when everything seemed to go down-hill for Stan. He spent all day planning an inventive way to ask Wendy to the 8th grade winter formal. The best he could come up with, or what Kyle suggested he do, was give a bouquet of purple tulips with a slip of paper inside reading, _Will you go to the dance with me? _His brown boots crunched in the snow with flakes sprinkling down from the sky on his way to his girlfriend's house. Everything seemed completely normal to him that night. He planned on knocking at her window to deliver the flowers, then he would leave. It worried her whenever he came during the night for the prospect of her parents discovering him. Her responsible image meant the world to her and Stan respected that. He seldom snuck over in the night but he couldn't wait another minute to ask her. What he didn't at all prepare for though was seeing his girlfriend standing there under the porch light and french kissing some guy with jelled back, douchey hair. He gazed on in disbelief. It felt as if the world was falling on his shoulders and that someone was clenching his heart in their hand. Fury replaced hurt and he belted out, _"I trusted you!" _That was the last time he spoke to her and wanted it to remain that way.

Stan was the second tallest of the boys, had filled out more than the others, and wore his hair in the same fashion but without a hat. He pulled his blue hoody over his head, picked his backpack off the floor, slid on his shoes, and said bye to his mom before heading out the door.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny had finally made it. They weren't the gullible, unknowing little children they used to be. They were 9th graders that year. None of them really knew what to expect and some handled that prospect better than others. All the boys were secretly nervous to some extent about their first day of high school but projected a false sense of confidence upon greeting each other at the bus stop.

"Sup Ken. Hey Stan." Cartman said, ignoring Kyle's existence entirely. He was the last to join the group. He had ditched the empty bag of cookies halfway through his journey and started digging around in his bag for more food.

"Hey fat boy." Kyle waved.

"No one was talking to you _Kyyyle_!" He snapped, then cleared his throat and continued rummaging through his backpack. Everyone was a bit more quiet than usual that day for various reasons, so Kenny broke the silence and asked, "Dmf amfy omf ymf remfd tmf scmfmfl mamfmfal?"

"Nah dude, that's lame." Cartman mumbled. He couldn't find any snacks so he stood there boredly, contemplating running back to his house to fetch some. He figured he could always make his mom drive him to school if he missed the bus, but saw it coming down the road from a distance and crossed his arms defiantly.

"I didn't get a chance to. My mom had a talk with me last night so I was kind of preoccupied..." Kyle trailed off and stared forward. His mind had side-tracked a bit from Kenny's question, but his heart was still beating fast. He couldn't believe how worked up he was getting but couldn't seem to help it. Not enough research or word of mouth eased the worry he felt about the unexpected world he was about to dive into in just a matter of minutes. He wasn't even sure if he had any classes with Stan or his other friends. How could he survive without them by his side?

"Your mom's a fucking-" Cartman began but Kyle swung his head around to face Eric and shouted, "Don't you say it fat boy! I'm not in the mood!"

"When are you _ever_ in the mood? Everyone knows Jews can't take a joke."

"We all know you're not joking fatass. You're genuinely a bigoted, racist piece of shit." He snapped.

Cartman stretched to appear unaffected by Kyle's insults and just as casually replied, "Yep Kyle, and your mom's genuinely a fat bitch."

Kyle was about to lunge his clenched fist at Cartman's wide-set face when the bus halted to a stop infront of the teenagers. The door swung open and the boys paused because they experienced a moment of nostalgia. After recovering, Kyle grit his teeth while Cartman cheerfully boarded the bus. They passed by all the South Park students they grew up with. Token and Nichole sat at the front and listened to their Ipod together. Her head was resting snugly on his shoulder while he was skimming through his playlist. Clyde was a few seats behind them talking with Jimmy and Craig. The girls; Red, Bebe, Sally, and Wendy sat towards the middle of the bus and seemed to be deep in conversation about shoes. The others were scattered throughout the bus or hadn't boarded yet. To Stan's relief, the girls were so engulfed in their words that they didn't even notice him pass by.

"Fellas! Hey fellas back here! I saved you guys a spot!" Butters jumped up and waved, capturing the girls' attention. They all gasped among themselves and whispered, glancing at Stan as they did. He sighed and sat down next to Kyle. Cartman squeezed into the seat with Butters, which was adjacent from Kyle and Stan's seat. Kenny sat infront of Eric and Butters. Butters was nearly crushed against the window but maintained a positive attitude.

"Thanks Butters..." Stan muttered after spotting all the girls whispering and staring back at him.

"You're welcome!" Butters exclaimed with a beaming smile.

"Yeah dude, I can't believe you got the back seats. People must really hate sitting near you Butters." Cartman said.

Butters blinked and appeared as though he didn't know how to absorb the backhanded compliment. So he simply smiled and started telling Cartman all about what was on the school manual they were supposed to read. It had come in the mail for all incoming students, but none of them except Butters actually read it.

"Did you know we're not allowed to wear halter tops!?" He exclaimed then continued saying, "That's taking away our rights and I don't agree with it." He slammed his fist down in his palm with a look of determination on his pale face.

"Butters... that rule is for girls." Cartman replied.

"Oh, alright then."

Butter's hair really hadn't grown much since 4th grade, it just sprouted out in the center of his head like a cabbage patch doll. He was also shorter than the other four boys, as thin as Kyle, and a lot more fragile looking in general. The bright eyed boy saw nothing wrong with his image until the other kids started making fun of his hair. Cartman solved it by making him get a mohawk which his parents grounded him for. He wore a buttoned up, baby blue cartigan with beige pants and black dress shoes. When the teasing became too much for him, he expressed a heartfelt speech to the others that went something like, _"Y-you know, I don't really care if you don't like how I dress or what my hair looks like. There are a lot of other important things and-and if you feel like you gotta pick on me, then you better take a good hard look at yerselves in the mirror!" _They all shrugged and returned to their own business, but successfully left him be.

Cartman dozed off with visions of all things sugary and salty dancing in his head while Butters talked his ear off. He abruptly dug through Butter's bag for any trace of food but the excitable blonde hadn't taken notice. He continued chatting merrily to Eric. Meanwhile Kenny scootched in the corner of his seat, made sure no one was near him, and pulled out his pornographic magazine. Kyle had all but collapsed dreadfully in his hands. He was blocked by Stan from Cartman's critical eyes so felt comfortable about expressing how miserable he was. As expected, Stan turned to his Jewish pal and asked, "What's wrong dude?" Kyle sat up begrudgingly and let out a groan before replying, "I'm so nervous Stan."

"About _what_?" He squinted his eyes. He always knew Kyle to be logical, honest, and somewhat confident. It surprised him to realize his best friend was crumbling under imagined stress. A wave of guilt washed over him, knowing full well that he was probably the source of Kyle's fear. He just wanted someone to be just as nervous as he was about going to school so he didn't feel alone. He just didn't realize that he had made Kyle _that _paranoid about such a trivial thing as change.

"About what Shelly told you. I don't want to be targeted just for being new. It's not fair Stan. It's just not fair. Don't they remember being freshman?" He asked in a quiet, confused sounding tone of voice. His eyes were staring wide and blankly ahead as if he had just been told terrible news. Kyle decided to leave out the part of his worries that included how he looked. He figured his friend wouldn't have anything helpful to contribute. He would just tell him he was overreacting, which he knew he was doing at the moment.

"Shelly says anything to scare us. She's probably just exaggerating dude. You're gonna be fine." He said while looking sympathetically down at Kyle who was slumped over in his seat.

"Yeah... yeah you're probably right." He mumbled behind his hands.

Trindles of coarse, fiery hair spilled out from his green hat which he complained bitterly about to his friend. Stan cocked a brow in confusion. Kyle's hair never bothered Stan before but lately he noticed a pattern of his friend criticizing his own looks. It was strange to him because Kyle wasn't one for focusing so much on appearance. He figured it was just a puberty thing that he learned so much about in health class and shrugged it off. He glanced over at Butters and Cartman and spotted the fat boy staring intently at Kyle with a vicious smile tugging at his lips. He cocked a brow again, only at Cartman this time and asked, "What?"

"Huh? Oh nothing. Butters just said something kinda funny." Cartman replied casually, turning away from Kyle and Stan to focus on Butters.

"What did you say?" He asked Butters blankly.

"J-just that, well, my dad bought a turtle and I ain't sure what to name him." Butters replied honestly, but glanced at Cartman skeptically for a reaction. Eric kept a poker face and added, "Yeah, everyone knows turtles are funny. Get a sense of humor, _god_ Stan."

"Yeah Stan!" Butters added.

Stan turned away and stared forward. He didn't feel quite as gloomy as Kyle looked but he was still reluctant to stand once the bus stopped. What if Wendy waited around to talk to him? Or what if they met eyes? He wasn't sure if he could handle it. His stomach churned just thinking about her.

Cartman grinned wickedly again and cut Butters off from speaking. "What is it?" Butters whispered, wide eyed. Eric leaned in and let him in on his plot. "A-are you sure that's a good idea Eric? What if you get in trouble?" He whispered, playing nervously with the ends of his sleeves. "I won't Butters. Just wait. It'll be so hilarious." He assured him. Butters cheered up and said, "Yeah! It'll be so funny. You'll be the most popular boy in school Eric." He snickered. Cartman registered what Butters said, and realized giddily just how right he was. _How perfect._ He thought to himself. _I'll get approval from the teacher, praise from the students, and Kyle gets humiliated. It's a win-win situation. _Cartman belted out in a fit of laughter and Butters eagerly joined in.

"Shut up titty walker!" A voice called back towards the front of the bus.

The entire bus erupted into laughter, including Kyle and Stan. Kenny even dropped his magazine, climbed halfway over his seat, and pointed and laughed at the red-faced, overweight teen. Cartman refrained from screaming out obcenities and furiously looked out the window. All that was on his mind was humiliating Kyle more than ever which was enough for him to keep his cool.

"In time Kyle. Just wait Jew boy."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to anyone who's been keeping up with my FanFic! This chapter is basically about the boys' first day of school. I'll mostly be covering Kyle, Cartman, Stan, Kenny, and Butters throughout the story but I'll vaguely touch on Wendy as well. I've introduced five new OC's but only a few of them will be used as the story progresses. I'll mainly be focusing on the main characters though. I promise a chapter per week. I do not own South Park!**

All the boys had seen the high school before but actually being inside it was a whole new experience for them. They didn't know how they could possibly find their classes, or remember them even, but were determined not to be typical freshman and be late to class. Their potential coolness depended on it. Kenny and Cartman broke off from the group in search for where the class schedules were being handed out. Butters hurried in their direction and followed them. Kyle and Stan gazed around at how massive everything was compared to their old middle school and chatted idly about it. There were even elevators and two lunch rooms which they mutually agreed were pretty bad ass. Teachers, facualty, and students roamed around wearing smiles and exuding happiness. Kyle smiled back at one of the upper classmen and was filled with a new sense of hope.

"Hey, this isn't so bad Stan. I actually kinda like it here."

"See dude? I told you everything would be fine." He replied.

Stan was even beginning to feel at ease himself. Until, of course, he saw Bebe approaching him from the distance. He knew that game all too well. Ever since he could remember, girls were always having their friends speak for them. He was certain Bebe wasn't coming up to him to catch up on old times. So before Kyle could even object, Stan gathered a wad of his sleeve in his hand and practically dragged him from the main entrance of the school and towards the commons. Kyle asked him what he was doing in an alarmed tone of voice but quickly put two and two together at hearing Bebe calling after them. She gave up after the boys had disappeared around a corner and rolled her eyes. Bebe mumbled something about guys being stupid and returned to her friends.

"So? What did he say?" Wendy asked, cocking a brow.

"He ran away before I could reach him. Just face it Wendy... he doesn't want you back."

Wendy's coal black hair shaded her face like a curtain after she looked down sadly at her designer shoes. They were the only nice shoes she had, which she borrowed from Bebe for her first day of school. She wanted to make a good impression. Not just on the new students she was bound to meet, or the friends she would likely make, but most of all for Stan. She missed him. Missed him more than she missed the One Direction concert she went to a few weeks before. Stan had been great to her. He was respectful, funny, smart... but then Gregory came along. Wendy was sure she didn't have feelings for him when they were young. After the British politics enthusiast came back from Britain during eighth grade and they reunited, she couldn't contain her desire for him. At first she thought it was just admiration like before, but any time he touched her she tingled. She eventually started blowing Stan off to study with Gregory but he was clueless. Her ex boyfriend was constantly having strange adventures with his friends so she figured he wouldn't mind. One thing led to another and in horror she recalled Stan catching them making out. As soon as Stan ran off into the night, she pushed Gregory off her and dashed inside. Wendy hadn't spoken to Stan _or_ Gregory since that day. Despite her constant efforts to contact Stan and apologize, he never got back to her. Ever since that night she'd been in constant torment. She missed Stan a lot but knew deep inside he wouldn't have anything to do with her again. A tear escaped and slid down her porcelin cheek.

All the students according to year were lined up in front of different tables to get a piece of paper listing their classes and locker number. Cartman was staring Kyle down who was directly in front of him. He was studying his hat and felt tickled whenever the Jewish teen anxiously tucked hair inside it. Butters would giggle by his side whenever Cartman _did_ smile. He was in on the scheme and enjoying every minute of the anticipation of the drama to come. According to Cartman, if he knew Kyle like the deceitful Jew he thought him to be, then they'd have at least _one_ class together. It was one of the few classes taught by one teacher during a specific hour. Cartman had signed up for it incase he needed to be with Kyle for any reason. He mentally gave himself a pat on the back for planning ahead well. Even if by some chance they didn't have the class together, Cartman assured himself that his plan could still work. Just not in the setting he wanted it to take place in.

Meanwhile, Kenny lingered behind his friends but was distracted by some kids in another line. They were wearing baggy clothes, sweaters and t-shirts with pot leafs on them, and shoes that were twice as big as their actual feet. Their hair looked like it hadn't been brushed or cut in years and one of them probably hadn't, given he had dreadlocks. The three of them were huddled in a circle and appeared to be smoking from something. They were looking around anxiously as they did. Kenny was about to turn away when one of them spotted him. The kid with dreads cursed under his breath, whispered something to his friends, then waved for Kenny to come over. He glanced up at the line they were under and it said _Sophomores._ He wasn't sure why sophomores wanted to talk to a freshman but he approached them casually anyway.

"Smf?" He asked.

"Hey man. We noticed you in the uh, freshman line and wanted to say hey. You seem cool."

"Rmfy?" Kenny responded in surprise.

They really hadn't formed an opinion of Kenny. The stoners just didn't want to get in trouble. Freshman they were especially weary of because they still cared about rules and had some degree of innocence. So they chat with Kenny a while about what school he came from, Reggae music, and Bob Marley. Basically kissing up to him to ensure he wouldn't rat them out. He discovered his friends were nearly at the front of the line so departed from his new aquaintances; Joey, Patrick, and Sarah. Although he disagreed with their lifestyle, he liked them a lot for some reason. Something about their personalities and energy felt comfortable to him.

With delight, Cartman discovered he and Kyle were both in Intro to Accounting together. Kyle cocked a brow at noting how thrilled Cartman seemed after finding out and grew suddenly nervous. _What's he up to? _Kyle wondered. He turned to Eric with narrowed eyes and asked him why he took Accounting, to which Cartman replied innocently that he liked dealing with money. Stan and Kyle exchanged a look of skepticism but carried on through the school in search for their classes. They hadn't gotten every class together, but a good amount. Kyle was just grateful that he and Cartman only had two periods together; Lunch and Accounting. He secretly promised himself that if Cartman ruined his first day, that the fat ass would regret it. He tuned out Eric entirely and focused on his other friends. Cartman's only concern was whether he should embarrass Kyle during lunch or accounting. He even contemplated waiting until the next day to weigh out each situation, but decided it had to be done that day. First impressions were everything and Cartman was determined to make life harder on Kyle if he had the opportunity.

Before they all knew it, the boys were each sitting in their first period classes. They all recognized a few familiar faces from South Park, but most kids they hadn't seen before in their lives. They had heard rumors that Mr. Garrison got promoted to the high school but weren't completely sure. Cartman was the first to discover all the talk to be true. The two exchanged a look of shock, Garrison moreso gazing on at Eric in horror. _God would place this little satan spawn in my class room. _He thought bitterly to himself, then smiled at all the freshman as they filed in and took their seats. Cartman sat next to Bebe and Wendy because they were the only ones he knew, which they responded with eye rolls and sighs. Garrison handed out the syllabus as all the teachers did and the teens followed along boredly. Cartman took advantage of the workless day by strategizing exactly how would carry out his plot to ruin Kyle's first day.

Stan and Kyle spent most of their day sitting silently in a chair, listening to a teacher ramble on about rules and regulation. The two of them had most classes together which added to Kyle's relief. By the end of the day, Kyle had grown optimistic about high school and looked forward to going back the next day. Stan was as mutual as ever about it but still clung to his paranoia of seeing Wendy. He ended up having a class with her, but it was P.E. and the boys and girls were separated into different gyms. They met eyes the moment each of them walked in and stared for a good couple seconds. Wendy was about to approach and Stan was about to listen when Craig and Token called him over. He snapped out of his daze and obediantly joined his old school mates. Wendy bit down on her lip, hurt by the rejection of Stan running off, and waited for someone she knew to walk in.

Butters thrived under the unfamilar atmosphere and greeted everyone he sat by. Most people looked him up and down, smiled back awkwardly, or just ignored him entirely. He hadn't noticed that people thought he dressed and behaved funny. In Butter's mind, everyone was friendly and high school was exciting. His first let-down began when the most popular freshman boy strutted in his math class. The middle school football star sat down right next to Butters and his friends soon followed. Butters turned to him and with an enthusiastic wave, said hello. He cocked a brow, slowly looked Butters up and down, then belted out in laughter. His friends joined in, then Butters nervously laughed with them. They quieted down and exchanged looks. The popular boy, whose name was Brian Dushbag, spoke up first.

"You weren't really supposed to laugh too, but ok."

"I wasn't? Oh-oh ok. I just figured you guys were laughin' so I thought I would too..." He trailed off, playing nervously with his sleeves.

"Cool story bro. Mind moving seats? My bitch is coming." He replied. His friends snickered, then started their own side conversation.

"Well, alright." He replied half-heartedly and complied, moving to the seat just behind the one he was originally sitting in.

It wasn't until a few minutes after the bell sounded when a girl walked in. Her glossy, dark brown mane seemed to endlessly flow like a running river. Green eyes gleamed like emeralds in her sockets and teeth like diamonds when her pouty lips pulled back to reveal a guilty smile. Everyone seemed equally captivated by her sensational beauty except Butters who was trying to find his pencil. She tucked a loose strand behind her ear and sat down next to Brian Dushbag. Then, feeling all eyes on her, fixed her outfit. She was wearing a form fitting t-shirt, jeans, and sandles. Just by her affiliation with Brian, everyone knew she was equally as popular as him. As soon as the teacher continued speaking and Butters found his pencil, he looked up in surprise at seeing a new student in front of him.

"Well hey there. I'm Butters!" He whispered to her, which she responded by turning curiously to him. She half waved in confusion. The others watched them in amusement. In their minds, they couldn't believe a loser was associating with someone as _hot _as Amber Phillips.

"Oh, is this your bitch?" Butters asked curiously, turning to Brian whose face switched from entertained to bright red.

"Excuse me?" She asked darkly.

She took Butters confusion and Brian's silence as confirmation for what she heard. She turned to Brian and said, "Fuck you." He rolled his eyes and replied, "Whatever." But clearly looked embarrassed and turned forward. Then she turned to Butters and while scowling said, "Don't ever call me that again. But thanks for letting me know anyway." She turned around before he could reply. Butters looked down in a confused, sad manner, then looked up at the teacher. He paid attention the rest of the hour and tried unsuccessfully putting the scolding he received out of his head.

_This is it._ Cartman thought to himself while quietly snickering. _I'm going to humiliate Kyle and this time there's nothing he can do about it._ He sat in front of his Jewish classmate purposely so he could see his reaction first-hand. Kyle was looking on at Eric as his fat body jiggled whenever a suppressed giggle was released. Something was going to happen, he could feel it. Out of insecurity he spoke up quietly while the teacher was addressing the class.

"What's so funny fat boy?" Kyle whispered, leaning forward.

He didn't feel confident insulting Eric at that moment. He didn't trust the vulnerable situation he was in. Cartman turned around and with a cocky smirk said, "Nothing. Nothing at all Kyle." Another soundless chuckle escaped his lips and he turned forward before Kyle could say anything more. He replied anyway but recieved no response from Cartman saying, "I swear to god Eric. You'll regret it." Cartman thought to himself, _I don't think so Kyle. _Then snickered once more to himself before raising his hand.

A wave of pricks ran along Kyle's back in fear the moment Cartman's pudgy hand shot in the air. He wracked his brain for anything Eric could be planning, or clearly had already thought of doing. Kyle was convinced he knew his fat frienemy pretty well, given he'd spent almost every day of his life with him. Fourteen years was practically forever. But anything he thought of fell short. _What does he have on me?_ Kyle wondered. He was slumped over with his hand angled like a visor along his face while in deep thought. Sitting up, he recalled Stan addressing what Butters had said during the bus ride and why Cartman laughed. The only things that made Eric laugh were himself, someone else's misfortune, or Terrance and Phillip. Both he and Stan knew it was strange but thought nothing more of it. They were more focused on themselves. Kyle had the sudden desire to make a run for it but knew it was too late. The fat boy was already speaking. All he could do was furiously glare at the rolls on the back of his neck and imagine strangling him.

"Mrs. Dart? I don't mean to interrupt you but I'm kind of concerned about the dress code policy." Cartman said innocently. He even bat his eyes which Mrs. Dart responded with a flattered smile. She asked what about and he looked as if he was conflicted about something.

"Go on Eric. You can tell me." She smiled warmly.

At that point, Kyle had grown beyond livid. He contemplated raising his hand and beating Eric to the punch, telling the teacher about how Cartman was manipulating her, but knew it was useless. She had to figure it out for herself.

"Well you see... after dining with my mother last night, I read through the school manuel as instructed and can't help but feel like some students aren't abiding by the rules."

"Oh? Well that's very observant of you Eric. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Well... I just kind of feel bad, but it's always been my philosophy to do the right thing. I'm sorry, but..." he glanced back at Kyle, whose eyes were blazing in fury, then looked back at the teacher with an expression of false guilt. "My class mate, Kyle Brovfloski, really shouldn't be wearing a hat according to the dress code." Cartman peered back at Kyle and said, "Sorry." But had an amused twinkle in his eye. Kyle grit his teeth and had to physically grasp at the sides of his desk to keep from jumping up and attacking Cartman. "You fat piece of-" He began, but stopped short after realizing all eyes were on him, including Mrs. Dart's disapproving gaze. He knew what he had to do but waited for his accounting teacher to tell him to remove his hat before he took action. Cartman hungrily watched as Kyle's shaky hands rose up to his hat. Kyle was beyond feeling anxiety, fear, and anger. He felt as if his hearing had failed him and nothing else existed. Everything was going so well for him that day and Cartman just _had_ to ruin it for him. _Everyone's going to think i'm ugly. Why didn't I just shave my head? _He thought desperately to himself while slowly pulling it off. His fiery red curls bounced back at the tug of his hat and tucked it away in his bag.

"Eric you are a fine example of what I want in my classroom. Mr. Brovfloski, you can learn a thing or two from this young man."

"Thanks Mrs. Dart. Like I always say, doing the right thing can be tough sometimes but is rewarding for _both_ parties." Cartman replied in a hammed up voice.

"Exactly." She agreed, then continued speaking.

After the moment of embarrassment for Kyle passed, resentment took it's place. No laughs sounded to his relief and after he glanced up, Cartman was the only one looking at him. He was smirking at him condescendingly. Kyle leaned forward and whispered furiously, "You fat piece of shit. Since when do _you_ care about following rules?" He grinned and whispered back, "Now now Kyle. I would think twice about offending me. Your social life could depend on it." The annoyed red head rolled his eyes and replied, "What are you talking about?" Eric released a mock sigh and said, "People are scared of me now Kyle. Don't you understand? The teacher clearly adores me and the students know I can get away with anything now." This time Kyle cracked a smirk and darkly replied, "You're an idiot Cartman. You don't win friends by making them fear you, you deranged fuck. They think you're a teacher's pet now. At the rate you're going you'll be an outcast by the end of the week." At that, Kyle dismissed Cartman by peering down at the class syllabus and following along.

Eric was struck momentarily with confusion. At first he avidly disagreed with what was said, but began to steadily itch with paranoia. He asked Kyle what he meant but was ignored. _That can't be true. Me? An outcast?_ He thought to himself. He nibbled anxiously at his lip with furrowed brows drawn together. The time seemed to tick by a lot slower than usual for Eric. As soon as the bell went off and students started flooding out, he caught Kyle by the arm. His frustrated frienemy turned around and asked, "What?"

"It's not true what you said back there, right? People won't think I'm lame for what I did, right?" Cartman asked.

Kyle sighed and snapped, "Of course it's true. No one likes a teacher's pet Eric... especially in high school."

"Don't be a hypocrite Kyyyle! You're always kissing teacher's asses!" He snapped defiantly, for which Kyle responded with narrowed eyes, then swiftly turned on his heel and out the door. Cartman ran up to him and grabbed him by the arm again. This time Kyle whipped around furiously and snapped, "What do you _want_ fat ass?"

"Look, just tell me what I have to do to seem un-lame. Please man. I'm sorry I told on you." He begged. Kyle rolled his eyes and replied, "All you have to do is be as bad as possible. Everyone will think you're funny."

"Really? That's all I have to do? Wow Kyle! And here I thought all chances of being cool again were lost!" He exclaimed excitedly, dashing off down the hall. Kyle watched him skip down the hallway until he disappeared around a corner. He shook his head and before heading to his locker mumbled, "Idiot."


End file.
